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2/10/2005
Humanize the Earth: The Inner Look IV, V & VI
This builds on last week's chapters's I, II & III.

IV. Dependence

The second day:
  1. Nothing that I do, feel, or think depends on me.
  2. I am mutable and depend on the action of my surroundings. When I want to change my environment or my “I,” it is my environment that ends up changing me. Then I seek the city or nature, social redemption or a new struggle in order to justify my existence. In every case it is my environment that leads me to choose one attitude or another. In this way, my interests and my surroundings leave me here.
  3. I say, then, that it does not matter who or what decides. I say on these occasions that I have to live since I am in the situation of living. I say all this, but there is nothing that justifies it. I can make a decision, hesitate, or remain where I am. In any case, one thing is only provisionally better than another; ultimately there is no better or worse.
  4. If someone tells me that those who do not eat die, I will answer that this is indeed so, and that, spurred by their needs, they are compelled to eat. But I will not add that the struggle to eat justifies one’s existence—nor will I say that this struggle is bad. I will simply say that all of this concerns an individual or collective fact related to the need for subsistence, but that it has no meaning in the moment that the last battle is lost.
  5. I will say, moreover, that I feel solidarity with the struggle of the poor, the exploited, and the persecuted. I will say that I feel “fulfilled” in this identification, but I under­stand that these feelings do not justify anything.

V. Intimation of Meaning

The third day:

  1. At times I have anticipated events that later took place.
  2. At times I have grasped a distant thought.
  3. At times I have described places I have never been.
  4. At times I have recounted exactly what took place in my absence.
  5. At times an immense joy has surprised me.
  6. At times total comprehension has overwhelmed me.
  7. At times a perfect communion with everything has filled me with ecstasy.
  8. At times I have broken through my reveries and seen reality in a new way.
  9. At times I have seen something for the first time yet recognized it as though I had seen it before.

And all this has made me think.

It is clear to me that without these experiences I could not have emerged from the non-meaning.

VI. Sleep and Awakening


The fourth day:
  1. I cannot take as real what I see in my dreams, nor what I see in semi-sleep, nor what I see when I am awake but in reverie.
  2. I can take as real what I see when I am awake and without reveries. Here I am not speaking of what my senses register, since naive and dubious “data” can arrive from my external and internal senses as well as from my memory. Rather, I am speaking of the activities of my mind as they relate to the “data” being thought. What is valid is that when my mind is awake it “knows” and when it is asleep it “believes.” Only rarely do I perceive reality in a new way, and it is then that I realize that what I nor­mally see resembles sleep or semi-sleep.
There is a real way of being awake, and it has led me to meditate profoundly on all that has been said so far. It has, moreover, opened the door for me to discover the mean­ing of all that exists.

categories: Humanist Movement personal work